Key Lists ↑

Antidotes to The Four Relationship Horsemen

These are behaviors that be constructive alternatives to The Four Horsemen of Relationship Apocalypse.

1. Soft Start-Up

Start with “I” statements about your own feelings and express a positive need you would like the other person to fulfill.

This is an antidote to Criticism.

2. Foster a Culture of Appreciation

Remind yourself of the other’s positive qualities and cultivate gratitude for their positive actions.

This is an antidote to Contempt.

3. Accept Responsibility

Accept your partner’s perspective and offer an apology for any wrongdoing.

This is an antidote to Defensiveness.

4. Self-Soothing

Take a break from interaction with the other person and spend that time doing something you find soothing and calming.

This is an antidote to Stonewalling.

Next: Four Sentences that Lead to Wisdom